Work-Life Balance

For the better part of the last 3 decades, I’ve been entrenched in studies: K-12, college, graduate schooling, medical school, and finally residency and fellowship training. Albeit, the last 5 years were more work than they were studying. In the first few years of residency training, hours were grueling, often exceeding 60 hours per week between clinical care and additional scholarly activity. Only in my fellowship training did I allow myself to reduce down to 40 hours per week. And now, in my first “real job,” I am averaging about 40-45 hours per week though will often take extra shifts. I am lucky to love my job and to be compensated well for it, but there still exists the stark realization that the next 3 decades of my life will be greatly defined by work.

Assuming the good fortunate of 8 hours of sleep per night, we spend about 1/3 of our lives asleep. Another third (often more) is dedicated to work during the wakeful hours. It can be difficult to find meaning and enjoyment if our lives are governed by a constant hustle and bustle. This is one of the core tenets as to why Peter and I are so focused on FIRE. Time becomes the most invaluable resource, limited in its finitude and yet punishing in its misspending. Because it can be so hard to find meaning outside of full-time work, we can either intentionally carve out more time for such endeavors or we search for meaning within our work. Peter is an excellent embodiment of the latter.

Like most of us, Peter has a W2 job that occupies most of his time. In this role, as a clinical pharmacist, he works with teams to build, streamline, and maintain electronic medical systems. He’s basically the IT guy with a strong clinical background capable of solving hospital-based problems as they show up. Peter builds the computer interface that doctors and other providers utilize when interfacing with patients. It can be tricky work but it suits him very well. The electronic medical system is riddled with problems and Peter loves nothing more than to solve problems. And aside from coordinating with his team members and fielding inquiries from end users (i.e. healthcare providers), he has minimal social interaction. He loves having minimal social interaction. At the same time, because his job is fully remote, he is able to carve out time during his day for many other pursuits.

If you asked him, he wouldn’t say he loves his job. After all, every job has its drawbacks and he’s certainly facing some challenges in his current role. His hospital and team are undergoing some major shifts that have been unfolding over the past year and that will approach a precipice in the coming months. Because of this, his work has been far more difficult than it had been and the stress is very much visible. What impresses me is that he sees this as yet another problem to overcome—an opportunity to showcase his strengths and capabilities. He’s very careful not to overindulge and adopt too many responsibilities as he has a good understanding of his skillset and role in the greater system. I think because of this, his work is sustainable and keeps him very motivated.

Outside of his W2 job, he has long been working with his parents on real estate. This is a skillset that was nurtured over the last few years as he slowly alleviated the burden for his parents. He continues to expand on his knowledge in this area as he slowly takes on more responsibility. I think this work is inherently gratifying for him in that he’s able to gift his parents back more time. Early in our dating, he would discuss the financial considerations in taking on more work within the family business. It was evident, however, that the real reward lie not in the monetary value of the work but the immense fulfillment he derived from giving to his parents the one resource that only continues to dwindle. Because of his skills in technology, he is able to streamline and hasten much of the work that was previously done by hand. It’s a win-win situation as he walks away with robust, tangible skills.

As if juggling a W2 and helping his parents weren’t enough, he’s been immersing himself more into Upwork. Upwork is a platform that allows individuals to meet with freelancers of all backgrounds to work together on specific projects. In Peter’s case, he advertises his skills in Excel and Notion. He’s been taking on clients who need customized Notion buildouts or improved organization systems. As a result, he ends up working with a wide variety of people, learns about various industries, and continues to hone skills. These projects pay pretty well, too. The minimal viable product has a set cost depending on complexity, and he is often kept on a retainer (hourly) basis for any unforeseen problems or continued refinement.

Though he works across so many sectors—healthcare, real estate, automation, and technology—the underlying theme is that he’s solving concrete problems. He does not like managing or working with people per se, but finds deep enjoyment from figuring out solutions. He somehow has made it possible to find meaning in his work while dedicating more hours per week than the average person. He never seems burned out with his work and at the same time does not allow for any particular facet of these many roles to define his identity. Rather than seeing himself as a pharmacist or property manager or informaticist, he sees his strength and identity as a problem solver.

It’s no surprise to anyone that he has a much smaller social battery—a topic of compromise for us over the last year. He is happiest when he gets to be at home in his pajamas working on various projects. Definitely not the case for me. We differ very strongly in this regard, as I place relational success above all else. In fact, some of the most enjoyable aspects from my work are the people I work with. I’ve made some wonderful friends throughout this journey and continue to do so. To me, there is no greater reprieve from the workplace than the warmth of friends who can intimately understand our unique challenges.

Maybe it’s from my own background and education that I hold this perspective of emphasizing relationships. Career satisfaction is an important measure of overall life satisfaction, but it needn’t envelop our worlds. Though I love my work, there are clearly defined boundaries. The satisfaction from helping people in their greatest times of need has no rival, but it is also emotionally and cognitively exhausting work. I know of many physician colleagues who wholly devote their lives to their professional careers (very admirable!), but I think that trend is becoming less common with the evolution and direction healthcare is headed.

I haven’t been as fortunate as Peter to find joys in additional or alternative streams of work. Rather, I spend my time with others, reading, and other self-indulgent projects that are not easily monetized. I’ve taken the opposite approach from Peter. Whereas he derives meaning in his work and therefore has no problem with filling every waking hour with projects, I have to set up intentional limitations to my work to pursue other routes of fulfillment. Peter is constantly wondering how I can leverage my skills in a non-healthcare setting, to which I jest that I have none, having spent all my adulthood hyper-focused on a niche. We are in the process of exploring different options, and I’m excited to see what we can find.