The Wedding Bells

Peter and I have long talked about marriage and what that would look like for us. He has always disliked the idea of a traditional wedding, though is more open to the concept of marriage itself. At least with marriage, there is significant symbolic and also practical implications. Weddings only meant being the center of attention, crowds, loud environment, and a gloriously hefty price tag for just one day of celebration. These are all things Peter actively dislikes. Particularly with the price-tag associated with a wedding, he finds it highly inefficient if your end goal is to celebrate with loved ones. In bigger weddings, it may be even harder to spend any meaningful amount of time with individual friends or family.

As for myself, I’ve always envisioned a small, intimate wedding, if that. I’m talking 50 people or less. More important to me is the marriage as a vestibule for all things paramount in a relationship: sacrifice, commitment, and support to name a few. So upon meeting Peter, it was acceptable to me that he desired no wedding. He knew marriage was important to me, so by proxy, it would be important to him. Peter has always said he’d prefer something more specialized and unique in lieu of a traditional wedding as a way of spending time with all the individuals special to us. I like that.

A few weeks ago, Peter and I shared another milestone in our relationship: going to a wedding together. I’ve met most of his close friends, but this would be the first large scale event we’d attend together. With more and more of our social circle getting married, these weddings are become rarer. We are so happy for our friends David and Jenny on their joyous union as we watched them get wed amongst friends and family. It was a beautifully planned day by them from start to finish. For Peter and myself, our day started off a little more strenuous but ended with love.

That Saturday, we slept in until 7:00 AM due to being up late the night prior. We rushed to go get gas at Costco followed by my dental appointment (referred by another good friend)! We had a casual lunch at a local noodle joint before dropping by Peter’s parents’ place to pick up his suit and dress shoes. Instead of taking it easy until the wedding which was slated to start at 3:30 PM and was about 40 minutes away, we still had quite a few things to complete. We scrambled to finish a blog article, cleaned the apartment, and did laundry before getting sidetracked by FaceTiming Peter’s sister and her rambunctious kiddos. We quickly lost of time and soon we’d be rushing to shower and getting dressed.

With our suits on, ties in hand, and shoes in tow, we dashed out the door to make it to the venue on time. It is unusual for us to run late as we are both very particular with timing, but we ended up showing at 3:40 PM due to LA traffic. Nevertheless, there was some wiggle room even when we got there. Upon pulling into the parking lot, we were greeted by friendly valets. Peter was driving this special afternoon as my car needed some maintenance. As we were trying to deal with the valet, Peter was pulled away by a call from work which caused him a great deal of stress. I was busy getting our ties ready—Peter typically just wears clip-ons but decided to be fancy this day (despite not knowing how to tie a tie).

Once the car was taken care of and our ties were properly secured, we met up with some friends, took photos, and entered the wedding grounds together. We walked around and explored the cute premises before the ceremony commenced. The wedding would be taking place outdoors to make the most of the summer solstice. Most of the shaded seats near the front were already taken. Most of our friends were seated there as they arrived on time. Luckily, we were still able to find a couple of seats tucked away from the scorching California sun. They came with a fairly good view of the center stage as well, highlighted by the the beautiful floral arches. That is, until the camera crew and obstructed our view.

The ceremony began with prayers, sermons, and hymns. Soon followed were the exchanging of vows. Peter and I particularly loved the multicultural dimensions of the ceremony, with David being Chinese and Jenny being Korean. Their mothers adorned traditional wear from their respective cultures. It was a very emotional moment as the bride and groom paid their respects to the parents. We loved seeing them honor their parents and heritage. Once they completed their rituals and formalities, the couple prepared for taking photos with each of their beloved circles, including UCSD alumni, church goers, and pharmacy colleagues. Peter finds it amusing that I was included in the UCSD photo as his +1 and because I attended UCSD myself.

After the photos, it was time for cocktail hour. Peter and I were amongst the first people to make our way to the charcuterie and drinks. We helped ourselves to a heaping plate of snacks while also making sure to grab the circulating hors d’oeuvres. The line for alcohol was tragically long, especially for being out in the oppressive heat. Mixed drinks were being made from scratch at the open bar (and they were fairly good from what I was told). Fortunately, there was a bartender who surveyed the line up and down to hand out beer and wine for those who could do without a cocktail. I helped myself to a glass of wine, after which I was already very tipsy.

Peter and I hung out with our friends for the bulk of the cocktail hour under a large tree that provided much needed shade. It was a lovely afternoon to catch up with all the people we haven’t seen in awhile. Typically, we would organize monthly walks where the group could catch up with each other. For various reasons (including a Memorial Day weekend catastrophe), we skipped the month of May so it created for a very big lapse since our last meet up. Several friends had gone on international trips while others stayed local in that time. Some of them actually reported feeling “up to date” with our own lives as they’ve been following along this very blog. It’s a funny feeling that people know what we’ve been up to while we’ve otherwise been in the dark about their lives. We are happy to know that our friends care enough about our lives to read though!

Time flew by and several of us decided to get in line at the bar for a second round of drinks while waiting for the reception. Right when we reached the front of the line, they closed the bar! They had to relocate the bar to the reception area. Though a little disgruntled by the slight misfortune, we were happy to be seated for dinner. The reception was adorned with ornate floral centerpieces (with some of my favorite flowers, too)! There were cute flower-shaped candles at each seat as party favors. The reception had the usual speeches, first dance, then finally food.

As we ordinarily eat dinner at 5:00 PM, we were famished by the time food was available around 7:00 PM. It was a buffet with many Asian inspired dishes. There was everything from beef, shrimp, fish, chicken, stir fries, baos, and rice. They even came with trays of kimchi, the ultimate homage to Korean heritage. Peter and I piled our plates high with delectable food and enjoyed the breezy evening. We were seated next to one of Peter’s friends from UCSD. He is also in a gay relationship, so it was nice to talk and relate about challenges of being gay Asians (3 of us were ethnically Vietnamese, with Peter being an honorary lover of fish sauce).

With the sun now setting, the cake was cut, champagne was popped, and the dance floor was opened. Several of our friends had to leave by this time due to other obligations, such as children waiting for their responsible parents to return. Before partaking in the nighttime festivities, Peter and I went to use the restroom, which was a bougie porta-bathroom. It was clean, bright, and spacious. I never knew such a business existed. The line for men’s room that night far exceeded that of the women’s much to our chagrin.

We meandered back to the dance room where I had some coffee. Peter and I shared some cake and pastries as well for dessert. Neither of us are much into dancing, so we lazed around the seating area with several others. After some chit chat, photobooths, and people watching, we decided it was time to make our exits. We located the newlyweds to say goodbye. Jenny endearingly remembered that we were supposed to hang out and make floral arrangements together. Because life took its course, that event never materialized. She instead told me to bring home a floral centerpiece instead to enjoy. We picked one out and soon it was time to hit the road back to our apartment.

Once we made it back home, we washed up and fixed up the beautiful arrangement. It was going to be the centerpiece for Father’s Day. It contained so many of our favorites, including peonies, calla lilies, dahlias, and roses sewn through a bed of hydrangeas. We couldn’t be happier in that moment having just shared such an intimate day together. It made us reflect on the importance of celebration and joyous occasions. Some things become evermore difficult as we get older, like staying out late, loud music, heat, crowds, and even alcohol. We very much appreciated the elegance, food, and thoughtfully planned day—certainly inspires us in thinking of our own romance!