The Extra Mile

Peter and I have been busy planning trips extending through this year and into the next. Though it is always nice to travel and visit loved ones, we sometimes find ourselves winded from it. Perhaps it is our age and stamina telling us to slow down, but we enjoy having something to look forward to each month. More recently, it feels as though social events have been at an all-time high in concentration. This definitely contributes to some level of fatigue, certainly more on Peter’s end than mine.

This past month of June, we traveled to Boston to hang out with some friends and to celebrate their progression through medical training. As a 4-day weekend, it felt like just the perfect length of time to fly from coast to coast and visit people. We didn’t feel rushed for time. Rather, we felt like it was just enough time to catch up with friends and colleagues for a quick vacation getaway. Still, we were pooped by the time we got back to California on Sunday. Of course, this is partly due to travel fatigue but perhaps also due to the sheer amount of events that awaited us.

And as much fun as it is to travel to see people, we are reciprocally appreciative when others expend the time and energy to come see us. That is precisely what happened in the week following our Boston trip. My good friend Jessica would be coming up to spend a few days with me in LA. On the other hand, Peter’s sister would be visiting from out of town with her young children for a week. This all portended a jam-packed week—fun, but exhausting!

As Peter’s sister arrived early in the week, and Jessica would not be arriving until the end of the week, there was ample time to see everyone. Spending time with Peter’s family is always wonderful. When Peter is with the kids, he subs in as de facto baby sitter. He does really well with kids which is no surprise as I’ve seen him interact with them before. It took awhile for them to warm up to me, but once they did, everyday was like a rollercoaster with peaks and troughs of energy. I would go over with Peter to see them when I was done with a long day of work, at which point I was already pooped. Parenting while working is no joke.

The amount of controlled chaos that ensued was a reminder of the organization, effort, and intentionality that goes into traveling with children. Their unbridled energy is an added layer of complexity to the web of logistics that belie any trip of this sort. With two working parents, that’s a lot of PTO to coordinate, especially if the work structures are unconventional. Then there’s the airfare and cost of traveling with more heads. Vacationing suddenly seems like taking time off from your desk job only to do full time work elsewhere.

Nevertheless, any time spent with the kids was like a reinforcing bolus to me that I’d like family of my own. Seeing Peter’s involvement and interactions also solidified to us that family rearing together could be a reality. As the week flew by, it became increasingly difficult to juggle all our pre-established responsibilities as we wanted to prioritize time with our visitors. After all, our responsibilities could be tackled a different day despite slowly and surely creating a little snowball of stress. There’s been a lot that we’ve been working on as of late that occupies our hours after work. The scarcity of time really was apparent that week.

As the weekend approached, I prepared for Jessica’s arrival into town. It had only been about a month since we last hung out as we helped her move into her new place. She made the long and arduous trip up from San Diego to spend time with me, first arriving on Thursday afternoon. Fortunately, no crises came up in clinic that day for me, so I was able to head out on time, pick up Peter from his parents’ (while saying hi to the kids), and headed over to our apartment to meet Jessica. The timing was perfect, as we both pulled into the driveway simultaneously.

We all piled into my car and we headed off to dinner. San Diego is not particularly robust in its Chinese food, so she was thrilled to enjoy some delicacies here in SGV. We opted for Good Alley in Rosemead which can be likened to an ungentrified Din Tai Fung. Time flew by as we ate to our bellies’ content and shared updates of each others’ lives. I’m glad Peter was able to carve out some time to spend time with me and Jessica during this week. After dinner, we headed over to a Chinese dessert spot akin to an ungentrified Meet Fresh nearby our apartment. We spent about another hour there catching up on good gossips.

Evening soon rolled around and it was time to drop Peter off back at his parents—he’d be staying there with his visiting family while Jessica stayed with me in our apartment. That evening, Jessica and I caught up some more while lounging on the couch. It’s interesting how easy it is to fall back into old habits as we started delving into the most random and obscure topics. We chatted about everything from modern relational challenges (i.e. the average girl is seemingly always of higher quality than the average boy LOL) to the meanings behind our existences to the perils of comparison.

The topic that stands out in my mind, however, is just how dedicated she is to her hustle: working full time while also pursuing side gigs in leading yoga classes and wedding art. I’m not sure how she is so invigorated and energized. She brings up a good point in that, much like Peter, she has all her energy channeled into working. On the other hand, I’m much more dialed back with regard to my attitude toward work. Though I still do work quite a bit, much of my overtime is begrudgingly to fund ambitious and expensive life endeavors.

We retired to bed that evening all talked out. I woke up at the crack of dawn to hit the gym with Peter while she slept in a little longer. After coming home and washing up, Jessica and I headed out to grab some coffee. Unfortunately, I had to head back into work that day, but Jessica kept herself in good company with another friend in Pasadena. We reconvened after I got off work to enjoy some boba and home-baked chicken breast (my own delicacy). She has the misery of working Saturdays, so soon after it would be time for her to head out. I, too, shared the misery of working that particular Saturday.

Peter would be free to spend Saturday with his family. He enjoyed some yummy dim sum to start off the day followed by a delicious homemade meal that his mom prepared. Luckily I was off in time for dinner, so I was able to join in on the festivities. Saturday night was impactful as Peter and I spent the evening talking for hours with his parents—it was a moment that really let us understand each other on a deeper level.

Sunday was much of the same, with the entire day spent with Peter’s family. Some of their extended family would also be by to hang out. It would be the first time I met members of his extended family. This was a whole day ordeal and so we were naturally very pooped by sundown. Sunday would also mark the end of vacation for the kiddos. His sister and her kids would be headed back home that evening.

If there’s one thing I took away from this past week, it is just how blessed we are to have people in our lives come and see us. And if there’s one thing Peter took away from this past week, it is a nasty viral infection that has him coughing incessantly at the time of this writing. Things to look forward to should we ever have kids!